Finally!

They are giving her reglan for her reflux. Why do I have a feeling its because I asked her nurse yesterday at what point are they going to do somthing? Her heart usually always drops when she eats. I mean like to 46! Yea it comes up after a minute but that's too much for my liking. Her nurse tonight said it could take 24 hours to kick in so we'll see tomorrow.

I on the other hand ....I'm so frustrated because I haven't been able to hold her. One of her nurses screwed up her schedule so everytime I go up there either she is eatting or just finished so they won't let me hold her. Do you know how tortured I feel right now? Its hard to register that I even had a baby 6 weeks ago. I have no baby waking me up every 2 hours. No diapers to change. No holding, cuddling....all I have is an overweight half pregnant looking body. I have been totally robbed of my pregnancy, my babies first days and weeks of her life. Its a NICU nurse that heard her first cry. Not her parents. Those same people get her first feed, first diaper change, first bath, first time using a pacifier. Its such BULL!

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